Not A Memory
by Bung3665
Summary: A story about moving on and keeping your head up high. Satoshi, who was once Ash Ketchum, has only one goal in life: not being a memory.


**Not A Memory I: Harsh Reality**

**Hey everyone, this here is my take on the 'Ash betrayed' trope, please tell me how I did and where I can improve. **

o - o - o - o - o

"Oh my! What a thrilling conclusion! However, it seems that Ash Ketchum's Greninja is unable to battle! Alain and his mega Charizard are the winners!" a cheerful announcer's voice boomed through the stadium.

_I lost…_

There were cheers all around. After all, this was the final of the Kalos League. Due to the recent discoveries concerning Mega Evolution, almost every Pokemon trainer throughout the region was excited to see how the final would turn out.

_I… lost… again… _

"With this incredible victory under Alain's belt, he will soon go on to challenge the Elite Four of Kalos! He might even be able to battle Champion Diantha with that mega Charizard!" once more, the announcer's voice boomed throughout the stadium. At the announcer's proclamation, the crowd in the stands went wild.

_How… _

A boy, about 15 years old, silently brought out a pokeball and returned his downed Greninja. This boy was none other than Ash Ketchum of Pallet Town.

The wild and upbeat mood of the stadium could not reach Ash, as this was the sixth league he had lost consecutively. The Orange Islands didn't really count as it was not a major league, nor did the Battle Frontier for that matter.

When Ash lost like this before, he would pick himself up and continue onward with even more courage than before. However, that wouldn't be happening now. Ash was completely crushed by this defeat, and to make matters worse, he truly thought that this time he would succeed.

The waves of jealousy that Ash felt towards Alain weren't something he could just ignore either. Ash was jealous of Alain, he was jealous that Alain won and he didn't.

Despite this, Ash gathered up all the positive emotions left in him and made his way towards Alain. Alain saw Ash walking towards him and promptly held out his hand for a handshake.

"That was a great battle, Alain," Ash congratulated, "you're mega Charizard was seriously incredible." Alain returned the gesture and congratulated Ash as well. Once that was over, the two went their separate ways. Ash headed to the Pokemon Center to get his Pokemon healed up, and right now he didn't feel like meeting up with his friends.

Truth be told, Ash couldn't tell if he was feeling bitter or angry. Too many emotions were coursing through Ash as he walked to the Pokemon Center. Once Ash had finished his business there, he simply strolled out of the building unclear on where to go next. To Ash's surprise (though he didn't show it), his friends from Kalos were all waiting for him.

Clemont, Bonnie, and Serena were the people Ash had traveled with throughout his journey in Kalos. All three of them appeared to be worried, but Ash couldn't care less. The boy from Pallet Town was in his own world of misery right now.

"Hey everyone…" Ash said dimly.

Serena was the first one to speak up, "Ash… don't feel so down, you got runner up in the entire league! That's incredible in my opinion." Serena said positively.

"Yeah Ash, you taught me so much, don't get down because you couldn't beat Alain! There's always going to be a next time you know!" Clemont added cheerfully. Bonnie nodded her head in agreement, not really knowing what to say in this context.

_I know why you two are so cheerful, it's because you hooked up just before coming here, _Ash thought bitterly. In truth, Ash had managed to hide his knowledge of Clemont and Serena's relationship quite well. Though judging by how the two were currently acting, they suspected that Ash knew of their affairs.

_Not like I care. _

However, Ash knew that he secretly did care. Throughout Ash's journey in Kalos, he had developed a crush on Serena. Looking at Serena now just made Ash's heart ache painfully. It was painful, very painful. Ash sighed and looked at all of his friends.

"Ah, sorry guys," Ash started, "I'm feeling pretty down right now, so I think I'm going to head for Pallet Town immediately and just relax there for a bit." Ash said depressed.

"Well, is it okay if we tag along with you?" Bonnie said. Ash looked at the little girl in surprise, truth be told he had not been expecting that kind of reply at all. It warmed Ash's heart, just a little bit. Then that warm feeling vanished in a second, thanks to Clemont.

"Sorry Bonnie, but Dad wants us to come back to Lumiose for a bit," Clemont told his little sister. Ash started to feel distraught by what Clemont had said.

Serena piped up as well, "Um, my mom wants me to watch a Rhyhorn race with her near Lumiose as well, I'm really sorry Ash." Ash knew what about what was going on, but he was too distraught to even think properly, so without warning he took off and left them all behind.

Ash could hear shouts coming from behind him, but he didn't care. Just like how Serena and Clemont didn't care about Ash. Ash quickly summoned Noivern and flew off into the distance, knowing that none of them could catch up to him.

Flying to the nearest airport, Ash quickly booked himself a ticket back to Kanto. Though little did Ash know, going back to Kanto was going to make his life a whole lot worse.

o - o - o - o - o

Ash, upon returning to Kanto, wanted nothing more than his mother's delicious cooking. Ash ran at full speed towards his mother's house, causing quite a ruckus once he entered.

"Mom! I'm home!" Ash said happily. However, he walked into the house's kitchen space to find a most unusual sight. All of Ash's traveling companions were present within the room, excluding some rivals like Barry and Paul. What startled Ash even more is that they looked somewhat grim, they're faces blank and devoid of any emotion. Delia was wearing the same kind of expression on her face as well.

"Um, hey everyone…" Ash said with a hint of nervousness. Misty was the first one to respond.

"Ash, we saw your match against Alain," Misty started, "and truth be told, we're not impressed. At all."

Ash's heart skipped a beat.

May joined in, "Look Ash, you're not cut out for this career, and everyone here agrees that you should look for something else to pursue." Max jumped in afterwards.

"I saw your battle on TV, even though you had a pokemon with a never before seen powerup you still lost. Ash face it, you always lose, no matter what you do!" Max yelled. The words cut through Ash's heart like a knife.

Dawn suddenly got up, "Sure you care for pokemon a lot and you have saved multiple regions from evil organizations before," she started, "but have you ever thought that maybe there are other people out there who could do the same thing? I think you're far more suited for becoming a breeder or something." Ash looked at Dawn in shock, unable to process what she just said.

"Plus, we've almost died traveling with you," Iris jumped in, "you're nothing but a stupid kid, and before you tell me that I didn't need to travel with you, I want to remind you that I still did! So really, it's your fault for putting all of us in so many life-threatening situations!"

Ash looked towards his mother, but all he got was a shake of the head. The raven haired boy felt crushed.

"Ash sweetie, it's time to move on now," Delia started, "and if you don't want to move on, then the only thing I can do is send you away. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to support you on this any longer." Ash's world completely crumbled upon hearing this.

Everyone in the room looked at Ash in disappointment. Then Delia said, "Just go, Ash. Go and pursue your own desires, however selfish they may be."

Ash didn't need to hear it a second time, he rushed out of the house and immediately went to Oak's lab. Ash jumped in the corral where all his pokemon were situated in without a second thought. During Ash's journey in Kalos Professor Sycamore had given him the privilege of carrying more than six pokemon on him.

Ash gathered up all his pokemon as quickly as he could, and after shedding some tears he took off. His next stop was the Alola region he had heard about near the end of his Kalos trip.

o - o - o - o - o

It went without saying that Ash's time in Alola went great. He had been extremely down when he arrived in Alola but almost immediately he had befriended quite a number of people.

There was everyone at the Pokemon School: Professor Kukui, Mallow, Lana, Sophocles, Kiawe, Lillie, and Lillie's cousin Lusamine. Ash had created a strong bond as he stayed in Alola, attending the Pokemon School was nice as well.

When Professor Kukui had managed to open a pokemon league in Alola, Ash had been ecstatic. This was all after the terrifying fight with Necrozma as well, so that lifted Ash's spirits even more.

Speaking of the Necrozma fight in Ultra Space, it was there that Ash really grew close with Lillie and Lusamine. The raven haired boy got an in depth at who Lusamine and Lillie really were, though Ash thought that he was way out of their leagues so he ignored the more romantic feelings coursing through him.

After Ash's betrayal, he had become a more mature person. The way Ash saw it, it was his inability to change and grow as a person that led to his betrayal. Though Ash couldn't explain it, he had always felt this feeling of being… incomplete, like there was something that he was missing.

Regardless, Ash thought that Alola would be his starting point of greatness. The raven haired boy wasn't the same, but in a sense that helped him now. Ash sometimes dreamt of him crushing his former friends and becoming famous.

The events that Ash would experience afterwards made him realize just how childish he still was.

Just before the pokemon league in Alola began, Ash had found every one of his Alolan friends and allies gathered up in one room. Flashbacks to when Ash was abandoned by his friends and mother started to play in his mind, and a foreboding feeling was building up in his stomach.

Ash carefully leaned against the door and listened in on the conversation at hand.

Professor Kukui went first, "When Ash first came to Alola, I immediately knew that he was an experienced trainer," he started, "but what I didn't know was that Ash has actually competed in over six leagues already, and he has lost all of them." everyone gasped upon hearing that. Ash's heart began to sink as well.

"Apparently, reports that I got my hands on also contain information on Ash's clashes with the most evil organisations around the world," Kukui explained, "so it's no wonder he got into trouble with Team Skull. Due to Ash's losses in the leagues, his mother actually kicked him out of the house, and I'm going to guess that he came to Alola right after that." Ash froze when he heard Professor Kukui's explanation.

_Now they're going to abandon me, just like everyone else. _

In desperation, Ash looked towards Lillie and Lusamine, but all he could see was disappointment on their faces. Ash couldn't take it anymore, he didn't have the strength to face them, and so he ran away again. However, something worse was about to happen.

Before Ash could leave, he saw some of his pokemon gathered up in one place. Ash looked on in horror as most of his pokemon gave him regretful looks that could only mean one thing; they were going to stay behind in Alola.

Ash's heart was thoroughly crushed by the sight in front of him. Pikachu, Ash's oldest companion, was among that group. Holding back the tears that threatened to fall, Ash flew away on Charizard. The raven haired boy's current pokemon were: Charizard, Sceptile, Staraptor, Gabite (formerly Gible), Noivern, Ivysaur (formerly Bulbasaur), Snorlax, Meganium (formerly Bayleef), Typhlosion (formerly Quilava), Croconaw (formerly Totodile), Torterra, Infernape.

None of Ash's Alolan pokemon decided to come along with him.

Not knowing what to do anymore, Ash heads home to Pallet Town. When he gets there, the townspeople start attacking him.

"Get out of here you little runt!"

"Stay away from this place you freak!"

"If I had stronger pokemon you would've been dead right now!"

Ash had no idea what was going on. To say Ash was confused and broken would be an understatement. The raven haired boy had lost two homes, and upon returning to his former home he is harassed as a criminal. Ash runs away, and he is determined to get to the bottom of this. What Ash finds shocks him to the bone.

Ash had been accused of cheating in the various pokemon leagues and pokemon abuse. The people who were accusing Ash were his former friends.

Ash didn't understand, why were they doing this? The raven haired boy had gotten his info from a local news report in Celadon city. If Ash thought things couldn't get worse, he was terribly wrong. Damien, the man who had abandoned Charizard when he was a charmander, had obtained the title of Kanto champion.

This very same Damien was also contributing greatly to the fall of Ash's reputation. Ash wasn't just angry, he was _enraged. _Ash found out that Damien would appear in Celadon for a bit, and he immediately prepared himself for a challenge.

By the time Ash got there, the place was crowded. Fangirls were squealing all around, a couple of seconds in and Ash was already getting sick of it. The raven haired boy stormed through the new reporters and fangirls until he was right in front of Damien, much to everyone else's anger.

Though before anyone could utter a word, Ash spoke.

"I want to challenge you, Damien!" Ash flipped his hood off and revealed himself to the world. Instead of looking at Ash in shock like he had anticipated, Damien merely laughed in his face.

"Hahaha! Well would you look at that! The loser finally shows himself!" Damien insulted, "Hey! Hey! No one arrest this guy or take him into custody! I wanna accept his challenge, so bring it on Ash!" Ash grit his teeth in frustration as he was basically humiliated in front of Damien. To Ash's shock though, the battle was actually going to happen. The police had withdrawn from arresting Ash, confusing him greatly.

_Why are the police listening to Damien?! Even if he is the champion, he shouldn't have this much control!_

The next few days were uneventful as the match was being prepared. Ash had brought his six strongest pokemon: Gabite, Staraptor, Sceptile, Noivern, Croconaw, and Charizard. However, the day of the match had been the worst day of Ash's life, period.

Ash had lost, six to zero.

Not one, _not one_ of Damien's pokemon had fainted.

Damien's pokemon completely trashed Ash's pokemon; his pokemon were hospitalised right after the match. During the match Damien had laughed at Ash, made fun of him, insulted him, and broke him down completely. Ash's mental state became even more fragile, and soon it came to the point where he could hardly even think anymore.

Ash's heart began to practically bleed with despair as he watched some of the only friends he had left being beaten to near death. Watching the always goofy and cheerful Gabite refuse to give up after taking multiple Ice Beam attacks was heart-wrenching, and as Ash watched Staraptor collapse in front of a machoke, in pure defeat as well, tears built up in his eyes.

Sceptile was nearly burned to death, his sheer determination made Ash's heart bleed with hurt. Ash finally began to cry when he saw Noivern brutally electrocuted in front of his eyes, the most painful fact was that Ash had raised Noivern since he was born, it was like a parent watching their child get beat. Finally, Ash broke down when Croconaw's entire jawline was smashed.

Struggling to even stay on his feet, Ash sent out his last pokemon, Charizard. The moment Damien saw his former pokemon he laughed loudly. Damien proceeded to call Charizard a pathetic and useless pokemon, and just to prove his point Charizard had all of his limbs brutally shattered.

Betrayed, abandoned, humiliated, broken down over and over again; Ash looked up to see the crowds booing him aggressively. He saw his mother look away in shame and disappointment, but what broke him just as much was the sight of his Alolan friends sitting in the stands. They weren't booing, but they all had looks of either anger or disappointment.

Ash was hopelessly alone. There was no one to help him, and no one willing to help him.

Ash's pokemon were put in the hospital immediately, but due to him being a failing trainer, the abnormally high hospital fees were too much to pay. All the pokemon who had fought against Damien... died. Ash wouldn't stop crying for days on end, what was even worse was that he had to bury the bodies all alone, no one was willing to help him. The only good thing that happened to Ash at that point in time was that the charges laid against him for abusing pokemon and cheating had been lifted. Somehow, evidence had been brought up and Ash was in the clear. The next day, Ash received a letter from Mr. Goodshow.

It was a letter detailing the suspension of Ash's Trainer License. Apparently, Ash had pushed his pokemon "too far", and as a result the Pokemon League felt it was necessary that they discuss whether or not he should be allowed to have a License anymore.

Anger was surging through Ash, how dare they accuse him of pushing his pokemon too far! Damien had been far too brutal in their battle, and yet no one says anything to him? Not only had Damien ordered way too many high-recoil attacks, but he had been absolutely merciless with Ash's pokemon, why was no even bothering to bring that up? Ash's pokemon had _died_!

_Is it even worth keeping my License? _Ash suddenly thought to himself. Was it really worth being a Pokemon Trainer? No, it wasn't, not anymore. On that same day, Ash issued a request to forfeit his Trainer License, forever ending his career as a Pokemon Trainer.

Ash came back to Pallet Town with his head held low.

Depending on how one looked at it, it was either surprising or unsurprising that Delia welcomed Ash back home. However, instead of sitting down and having a talk, Ash went into his room and locked himself in there. Delia didn't see him for the rest of the day. This became Ash's new routine, stay in his room, go outside for a couple of minutes to get food, and then go back inside. Even then, the amount of times Ash even went outside of his room was rare, he was losing weight fast.

At this point, Ash felt as though he couldn't trust anyone. Instead of leaving his pokemon with Professor Oak and Gary, Ash left his pokemon with his long time friend, Pidgeot. Ash had reunited with the bird as he was trekking to Pallet Town, and he decided to leave his pokemon with Pidgeot knowing that they would be safe.

Of course, this also brought up questions too. Gary, in particular, had practically harassed Ash in leaking the location of his pokemon. Ash was promptly punched in the face when he didn't answer. Ash didn't fight back since he knew that one day he would be able to live a quiet life in Pallet Town.

o - o - o - o - o

The quiet life Ash had hoped for never came. Soon after he came back home, Ash had gotten into an argument with his mother over his recent behaviour, Delia told her son that it was time he move on from what happened and try to build a better life. When Ash retaliated by telling his mother about everything he had gone through, Delia became so frustrated with her son that any kind of filter she had on her mouth had vanished.

"Ash, you are only half the man your father was. At least he became a Pokemon Master, even if he doesn't come home much. What about you? In all the years you've spent traveling, you haven't accomplished anything! Your father would be ashamed of you right now!"

Ash was crushed when he heard those words. Without another word, and in a similar fashion to what he had done before, he quickly packed and left. It was night, so as soon as Ash ran out of the house, it became hard to see him. Ash didn't stop until he met up with Pidgeot, and after crying for hours on end, the raven haired boy made the decision to never come back to Kanto.

Pidgeot flew Ash away to wherever fate took them, to Ash it didn't matter where he went, as long as it was away from Kanto he was fine. Being an incredibly strong bird, Pidgeot managed to fly all the way to Sinnoh over the course of four days. To take his mind off things, Ash decided to go check out the ruins present in Celestic Town. He wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone, and quite frankly all he wanted was the companionship of his pokemon. However, fate doesn't seem to go the way Ash wants it to.

Upon exploring for about twenty minutes, Ash ran into a very familiar blonde woman, Cynthia Shirona. At first it was only Ash who had noticed that she was here, but before long Cynthia took notice of the raven haired boy's presence.

"Ash, is that you?!" Cynthia practically shouted. Ash braced himself for the worst, but instead of being verbally attacked, all he got was a tight hug.

"Oh my god Ash, I saw what happened on TV!" Cynthia exclaimed, "All those awful things Damien did, it was terrible! Are you okay? Are you doing well? Do you want to stay with me for a bit?" Cynthia frantically said.

Ash merely stared at Cynthia in surprise. He hadn't expected Cynthia to be _that _worried over him. Though Ash welcomed Cynthia's concern with open arms.

For the next three months, Ash stayed with Cynthia. It took a little bit of time to open up, but once Ash did, he and Cynthia hit it off. Eventually, Ash started to fall in love with Cynthia. Everything about the Sinnoh Champion was perfect in his mind, and he had slowly started to build up the courage to ask her out.

What made Ash like Cynthia so much was the fact that she cared about who he was, not what he was. Cynthia didn't seem to care about Ash's unpopularity and overlooked most of his flaws. Ash was extremely grateful for this, but he was also extremely nervous about confessing to her.

Finally, the day came.

o - o - o - o - o

"Okay guys, wish me luck," Ash said nervously to his pokemon. They all smiled at him and wished him luck. The raven haired boy was more nervous than ever as he made his way to Cynthia's house. In order to calm his nerves, Ash had decided to go out and train with his pokemon for a bit.

Now, as he was approaching the house, Ash suddenly felt the urge to go back to his pokemon. The very idea of confessing to Cynthia Shirona was mind boggling, yet here Ash was, about to do just that. Upon silently entering the house, Ash heard voices coming from the living room.

Silently creeping closer, Ash identified two voices: one was Cynthia's, while the other was… Steven's? _Why is Steven Stone here? _Ash thought, very confused. Suddenly, a weight in Ash's stomach formed, and he couldn't help but let his mind wander on _why _Steven Stone would be here.

A voice suddenly cut through the air, and Ash's eyes widened when he fully registered what was said.

"Cynthia… why do you keep Ash Ketchum in your company? Why do you keep a man who is so much lower than you are in your presence?" Steven asked, there wasn't a hint of arrogance in his voice, he was just simply asking a question.

_Cynthia's not like the rest of them… Cynthia's always cared about me for who I am… _Ash thought, panic starting to slowly take over. Apprehension was surging through Ash, and he resisted the urge to run out of the house right there and now.

Steven continued, "Cynthia, Ash Ketchum is an enemy of Damien, and while he may care for pokemon greatly, he is not a very good trainer overall," the blue haired man reasoned, "I know that you see potential in him… but isn't it time to accept that Ash isn't the man you thought he was?" Steven questioned, Cynthia had still not replied back.

"His mother threw him out Cynthia, she threw him out because he obsessively chases after that dream of his," Steven persisted, "face it, you will always be better than Ash, Cynthia. A man who chases his dream as blindly as Ash Ketchum isn't a man worth worrying over." Cynthia had not uttered a word yet.

_What's she thinking…? There's no way… there's no way Cynthia would abandon me… _ Ash thought with his lips quivering.

_I… I love her… _

"I know it's hard to think about it, and I completely understand the situation you are in," Steven said softly, "but maybe… maybe it's time you moved on from Ash, I think it's time for you to let go of him…" Steven trailed off, yet Ash was sure that he was going to say more.

Currently, Ash was hiding in the hallway, but when he turned the corner to see what was happening…

Ash saw Steven lean in and kiss Cynthia. To Ash's horror, Cynthia didn't resist the kiss, and that's when the tears came down.

_Why? WHY? _

Ash left the house as silently as he came in, tears blurred his vision as he made his way out. Once he was out of the house, Ash sobbed uncontrollably. The raven haired boy's pokemon were waiting for him outside, and they immediately rushed to his side when they heard his crying.

Ash was in too much despair to explain the situation, but his pokemon knew. They knew about what happened to their friend, and they were very mad about it. Regardless, Ash quickly rounded up his pokemon and left, once again, to an unknown destination. He could faintly hear distant screams in the background.

o - o - o - o - o

To say that Ash was _just _depressed was an understatement. His strongest pokemon were dead, all the woman he had ever loved in his life did not return his feelings, and he had no real family to go to. It was then that Ash turned his attention to drinking and gambling. The raven haired boy was desperate to escape reality, and at that point he'd do anything to get his mind off reality.

Ash lost track of time, he was in the Lumiose Casino's daily. When he wasn't, he was sleeping outside with his pokemon. Much to Ash's dismay (though he should've seen it coming), he eventually went broke. No one wanted to even look at Ash at this point, after all, who would want to mingle with an enemy of Damien?

Attempting to escape it all, Ash leaves behind his pokemon and travels to Mt. Silver.

o - o - o - o - o

**Feel free to give your thoughts and opinion on how I did. The prologue isn't finished just yet, so the next chapter will be a part two of the prologue. Have a nice day.**


End file.
